Mastering the Art of Giving & Receiving Feedback
Feedback is often a pain point, whether you are giving or receiving. It comes with an unsaid intention of telling, “you need to change.”
Have you ever received feedback is non-specific, non-constructive, and frankly just down right hurtful?!
Yeah me too.
I hear about this happening ALL. THE. TIME.
How do we ensure we don’t deliver the same non-useful feedback to others?
By understanding:
- What effective feedback is, AND
- All the ways you can deliver feedback successfully
Let get into it
WTH is Feedback?
Feedback is about telling people what we think about their performance and how they can do it better.
The goal of giving and receiving feedback, ideally, is continuous improvement.
Types of feedback
- Praise — can be an excellent motivator.
- Criticism — more negative and should only ever be shared constructively and not as a method to put someone down.
- Evaluation — an opportunity to reassure direct reports that they are performing well.
- Coaching — more hands-on and might require more review sessions.
First-time managers often face challenges when giving feedback.
That’s why we use feedback models to prepare ourselves to provide constructive feedback as best we can.
Feedback models
Use these frameworks to formulate your feedback so direct reports or peers get the most out of your session together.
A.I.R.
Action — what was done? Impact — what was the impact? Request — what should the design continue doing/do differently?
S.B.I.
Situation — what happened? Behavior — what did you observe? Impact — what was the result of this?
T.A.G.
Tell — what did you like? Ask — ask a thoughtful question to dive deeper. Give — give a suggestion for improvement.
Try this instead of…
❌ Can I give you some feedback?
✅ Here’s my reaction.
❌ Here’s what you should do.
✅ Here are 3 things that really worked for me.
❌ Here’s where you need to improve.
✅ Here’s what I would do.
❌ That didn’t really work.
✅ Here’s what worked best for me, and here’s why.
❌ You need to improve your communication skills.
✅ Here’s exactly where you started to lose me.
❌ You need to be more responsive.
✅ When I don’t hear from you, I worry that we’re not on the same page.
❌ You lack strategic thinking.
✅ I’m struggling to understand your plan.
❌ You should do x [in response to a request for advice].
✅ What do you feel you’re struggling with, and what have you done in the past that’s worked in a similar situation?
Key takeaways
Feedback is often a pain point, whether you are giving or receiving.
It comes with the unsaid intention of telling you, " You need to change.” Change can be overwhelming. Some people are receptive to it, and some may take a back step.
Most importantly, the way in which we provide the feedback makes all the difference.
The book The Art of Giving and Receiving feedback, authors Shirley Poertner and Karen Massetti Miller, talk of 5 characteristics of good feedback:
- Focused on action, not attitude — Feedback is best given by responding to specific actions that are done in the process of performing one’s job, not on a person’s attitude or personal characteristics
- Directed to the future — Useful feedback uses past actions as a starting point to help the recipient develop effective plans for future action
- Feedback is multi-directional — Feedback is provided not just from a manager to his subordinate, but upwards to one’s manager and also laterally to other co-workers.
- Given in a spirit of supportiveness — Feedback should never be given in a way that belittles the recipient or makes others look good at that person’s expense
- Feedback is continual — Feedback is not something that is provided once a year, during the annual performance review. It is a continuous process which should make team members feel comfortable responding to each other on an ongoing basis
Schedule that long-awaited feedback session. It’s time to get constructive! 💬
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